broncoburro:

I animated @kwillow ’s rude horse. (Voice is by vocalfel of twitter)

writing-prompt-s:

You hear a soft squeaking coming from a nearby tree stump. When you lean down to take a peek, you find a bat with a torn wing. You take it home, since there are no vets for miles around. Little do you know that it is a vampire bat who is struggling to turn into his human form.

shanastoryteller:

electrificata:

wish i had a bit going where whenever i said “the prophecy” like three of my friends would repeat “the prophecy” in different tones while squinting into the distance and rubbing their chins like sages deep in thought. i would also do this for them, im a team player

okay, so, be me, 27 years old at the time, an adult by any definition in the world

be me at the los angeles zoo, one of my very favorite places in the world, because i love animals. i am immedietly 8 years old when presented with a little creature. i can’t help it. 

okay, wait, go back. we must establish two things for this to hit right

first: 

the year before, i’d gone to the san diego zoo with my aunt and grandma and! they let you feed giraffes there!! 

how wonderful a world and how wonderful a life, where for $10 I can hand feed a giant creature three crispy biscuits. i go “i am feeding the giraffes right now” and go in line to buy the biscuits and return moments later triumphant, 3 biscuits in my grasp

“oh good!” my grandmother says, “one for each of us!” 

“yes,” i say, despondent, “one for each of us.” 

i wanted to feed all three to the giraffes myself but since i am an actual adult and not a child i do not say this and share the biscuits 

second: 

my friend group echoes. a lot

someone tells a story and ends it with “and that’s what happened!” and the rest of us will repeat “and that’s what happened!” 

often in unison. and it’s constant, all the time, even to little stuff. often said in the tone of “they don’t even have dental” 

ok, so we’re back at the los angeles zoo. they have opened the giraffe feeding 

i am not going to be thwarted again 

my two friends (K and M) get in line to feed them and i go to buy the biscuits. i return with nine biscuits because i am going to give the giraffes three biscuits myself and i do not want to hear a word of protest. i am being fair. i am being equitable. i am sharing. no one can judge me 

“wow!” says K. “that’s a lot of biscuits!” 

“the cult provides,” i say generously, handing over their share, because what is a friend group if not a small cult 

and then, automatically, in unison, like they have so many times before and thinking nothing of what exactly they’re saying, M and K reply, “the cult provides” 

two different people in line turn to stare at us while we all blink at each other and then M nervously shouts, “we are definitely not in a cult!” which sounds like something someone who is in a cult might say 

and ever since it’s been a running bit where one person says “the cult ____” and everyone echoes it as seriously as possible, no matter where we are or who we’re around

which is to say, OP, that you could be living the dream if your friends weren’t cowards 

qloof:

sorry

beri14:

Some beyblade memes

uncle-mojave:

ayeforscotland:

“Author of 25+ best-selling Pride & Prejudice variations”

Yeah, no.

(via cameoamalthea)

zoestorm:

kactusnz:

zzoupz:

“I preferred to adopt two male cats so that they would not have kittens but they adopted a kitten from the street 😅”

these cats gay good for them

Gay dad cats

Gay dad cats

(via cameoamalthea)

charlesoberonn:

ALT

ALT

ALT

ALT

Art by u/reachling

homunculus-argument:

Tumblr is so funny because you can make a post like “hey do not mix bleach and vinegar in your cleaning, you’ll make chlorine gas and you do not want to make chlorine gas. It is dangerous to mix these two specific chemicals together”, and the comments are like

“Um vinegar isn’t dangerous?? My mom cleans things with vinegar all the time and we have never had lung issues. White people are insane.” (<- does not use bleach, missing the point)

“OH MY GOD BLEACH IS CHLORINE GAS? NOBODY EVER TOLD ME I’VE BEEN CLEANING WITH BLEACH MY WHOLE LIFE, I WILL DIE.” (<- has literally never used vinegar in cleaning, and never mixed the two, missing the point)

“This is just stupid fearmongering, we use bleach and vinegar to wash the floors all the time, OP is lying.” (<- does not actually know what “vinegar” is, and is confusing the word for something else)

“Yeah this is true enough but also keep in mind that this kind of household cleaning product chlorine gas is too weak and unreliable to use for domestic terrorism purposes.” (<- raises concerns, but potentially has a point)

(via that-house)